Smart parents don’t say these 9 words to children
In life, parents and children communicate almost every day, but many parents are surprised: too often, the “ditch” is exchanged, but the actual effect is often not “connected”.
There are some mistakes in educating children, and many parents always make them repeatedly without even realizing it.
Some words, smart mothers never say, do you know what it is?
1. “Baby, you are too smart!
“Too much praise will cause children many restraints and burdens. When parents’ expectations are not met, children will easily become frustrated and feel guilty.
Parents always praise their children as “too clever”. When the test results are not satisfactory, the children will have deep self-blame and coping, and their self-esteem and self-confidence will be hit hard.
Therefore, it is best for parents to praise their child for something specific, such as “Your homework is well written today!
“2,” Fool, useless things!
“When a child’s test scores are not satisfactory, some parents will shout out loud,” stupid!
“This practice has severely hurt children’s self-esteem.
The right thing to do is to criticize things and not people.
If you don’t want your child to be a “fool”, appreciate your child in the usual way, raise your thumbs up, encourage more, and suppress less.
3, “Shut up!
I can’t say no!
“” Go homework!
“” Turn off the TV! ”
“. Too many commands can easily make the child” deaf “. When children are often indifferent to such commands, parents should consider their credibility in the eyes of their children.
4, “There is no other ability, you can play as a world champion!
“Parents must refrain from making sarcastic remarks. This will greatly harm the child’s self-esteem and damage parent-child relationships.
Children will feel that their parents do not like themselves and gradually alienate them.
You know, the biggest punishment is not physical, instead of spiritual. If you make a mockery of irony, it will be more sad than hitting the child!
5, “Baby, it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t hurt.
“This is a mistake that many parents make easily.
When the child says, “Mom, I’m afraid, the injection is very painful.” Parents often comfort and say, “Baby, it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t hurt.
“This will make the child feel wronged and afraid.
A more sensible approach should be: “Baby, mother knows that injections are painful, but the illness can only be better after the injection.
“Knowing that they understand, the child will feel better.
Sometimes it is better to deceive in good faith than to say the consequences directly, so that the child is prepared for the challenge.
6, “I’m an adult, I can do it, but you can’t!
“When the children are fighting with each other, the parents’ attitudes of fighting and scolding cause the children to have a strong dissatisfaction inside the child.
“While not letting the child speak swear words, he taught the child with swear words.
In the eyes of the child, parents have swept the prestige.
Education should be a two-way process.
Teaching is better than teaching. When teaching children, first of all, see if you are doing well!
7, “Did the teacher ask you questions today?
“” How was the math test?
“Because of their eager desire to learn more about their children, many parents often ask them as soon as they leave school.” Did the teacher ask you today?”” How was the math test?
“Who did you play with?”
“. Too many questions can only arouse children’s resentment and resistance, and earn a reputation of” hate “.
The effective way is to enter the children’s world, chat with them more, and inadvertently, you will discover many secrets of children.
8, “I don’t care about you anymore, just do whatever you want.
“Do n’t say that you do n’t force your parents’ intentions on your children to stop empty preaching and respect. When criticizing your children, be careful not to hurt your children and be tolerant of your children. Do not force your children to do things that they do n’t like.
9, “How can Xiaoli take the score, why do you only take so few points?”
“Each child has different characteristics and learning abilities, so you cannot use a blade to measure the size.
Don’t compare the shortcomings of your child with the advantages of others.
The unified model for educating children is that teaching children according to their aptitude is not a blank piece of paper and cannot be smeared at will.
Don’t let your child develop “learned helplessness.”
Let your child learn to play against himself and let him grow at his own pace.
Educate your child positively in a language that your child can accept.